my fake plastic life

What a shitty day.

I'm thinking about moving out and being a grown up.

I need someone to talk to that wouldn't hold anything against me. I have a lot to say, a lot I want to be honest about... but there is no one I could confide in.

I'm sick of the people making excuse after excuse about why their life is going the way it is. It pisses me off when people blame every force around them for what happens and never stop and think, "Wow, I fucked up. I need to change some things to make this better."

So.. long story short: I helped out a friend at work and got myself in trouble because of it. Next time I'm going to be a shit friend and just watch my own back.

I feel excited and nervous and happy.

Maybe something neat is about to happen.

I think I left candles burning in my classroom yesterday after the Parent Orientation and I'm terrified of getting yelled at tomorrow.

But whatever.. I mean if I get yelled at it will be done and over with and I'll go on with my life.

I'm still worried.

 I got cussed out by a parent tonight because I threw her son's fake gold chain away after he refused to not wear it.

Holla.

I can't remember you looking any better.
But then again, I don't remember you.

So my dad ordered this CD: www.amazon.com/Who-Dat-Orleans-Party-Songs/dp/B000JJRX98 (New Orleans Party Songs).

He is currently blaring it throughout the house.

I love it a little more than I should.  Gosh, I'm turning more and more Southern by the second.  

 Did you know that schools get audited?  Well apparently they do.  Today we're getting audited in two main areas:  how well teachers are aware of discipline procedures and how well the technology that the parish paid for is being implemented.

This should be pretty interesting because I have no idea what any of the discipline procedures are because it is November and I haven't even gotten a hand book.  I also have 4 computers in my classroom that do not work (they are at least 10 years old) and a broken overhead projector.

This should make for an entertaining day.

Schools closing due to inclimate weather is even more exciting as a teacher than it was as a student.  Especially on a Friday!

 ANDY WARHOL EXHIBIT IN FT. WORTH IN 2010!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

AHHH THIS IS THE MOST EXCITING NEWS I'VE EVER GOTTEN!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

I have this one tiny smidgen of a thought that always jumps out at me.  It is based on news I should have never gotten, that I could have lived my entire life not knowing and been much happier.  But the fact is it was leaked several months ago, and then confirmed not too long after.  This stupid bit of knowledge creeps up on me more often than it should.  I get sick to my stomach thinking about it, but then I distract myself and push it away.  Tonight I had to deal with it not in my own head, but through someone else's words.  I feel sick.

 Nightmares are lame.

 

Here's a picture of the scarf I just finished knitting for my friend, Cory.

 Today one of my second graders called another one of my second graders a "hairy muff".

I don't know if he realized what he said.

I told him not to call names, but secretly I cracked up.

 My mom is turning 50 this year, so my sis and I went in together to get her a cruise.  It is June 5-12, 2010.  How fun!

My family has never had a family reunion. 

Finally, after years, after the grandkids are starting to marry and have great-grandkids, after the grandparents are both dead, everybody decides its time.  Good idea.

But these geniuses decided to make this lovely little reunion for weekdays in the middle of October.  Who the hell does that?  So basically everyone in my mom's side of the family (aside from her estranged sister... which is another story), is going to this big event and guess who can't take off because she's a brand new teacher?

Me.

I've known about it for awhile, but now it is coming closer and it is more of a slap in the face.

Ugh.

Dear Blue Cross Blue Shield Dental Insurance, 


I want to pull out your teeth without any pain killers.  

Love, 


Madeline

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So, I haven't updated in forever (except for my obnoxious iPhone updates, which I realize are obnoxious).  Life is going pretty well.  Two of my bad kids are suspended, so school has been nice =).  Can you imagine getting suspended in 2nd grade?? But I teach in a land that is unlike any other, so really nothing surprises me anymore. 

As for starting my career, it is really nice to know exactly what you want to do with your life and get it started.  Truthfully I am quite unhappy with the school I'm teaching at, but knowing that I can easily switch in December or May is an uplifting thought.  I have been thinking about starting an IRA to get the ball rolling on my retirement plans.  I'm saving to buy a house.  I'm doing very well for myself and I couldn't be happier about that... no matter how stressful work is.

Teaching is unlike anything anyone told me in college.  At the college I went to, they threw us in to these perfect scenarios where everything is wonderful and serene.  Real life isn't like that.  Real teaching isn't like that.  I think the majority of people take for granted what teachers do and what they deal with. 

I've been knitting a scarf for my friend Cory.. I'm going to get back to that.